Sorry for not being sorry

Indifference will always find an excuse

                This is the simplest but saddest truth, when you’re indifferent you will find the lamest excuse to justify yourself, but the most bitter part occurs when you are in a relationship and you start making up excuses to justify your boyfriend/girlfriend ‘s indifference and nonchalance.

            It’s a known fact that there is always a side that’s controlling the relationship: the strongest, and by that I’m in no way referring to the chauvinist men. A woman can be the strongest and the dominant partner. What I mean by the strongest:  the partner who is caring and giving everything to the relation but still has a step back and has protected themselves emotionally.

            How small, insignificant do you feel when you go through extremes to give your partner all the love you can give and in return for that single fraction of a second they ruin everything by being completely unresponsive and indifferent. 

            One might consider that it may happen once and occasionally, true and in no way am I referring to such behavior. However, when it becomes a recurrent pattern, one have to start wondering and asking the hardest question: when enough is really enough?

 

            As I am writing these words, I’m not sure if I’m even making sense. The problem is I cannot be more elaborate about this matter because too many people are involved and might get hurt, not to mention all the variables to consider.

            I am not the kind of guy that preaches what he doesn’t believe in or apply in real life so be sure there will be a part two to this post. 

            I have found out the hard way that you should never make someone a priority in your life when you remain an option in theirs. What really hurts is that most of the time being a stepping stone or being taken for granted is done unintentionally by your partner. 

            On that particular situation I find it unbearable, how insensitive can you be? My bleeding heart isn’t an enough wake up call.  You try to give hints, you try to talk about it but somehow it always lead to a dead end.

            For me it all comes to forgive or forget. Either you forgive (but for how long) or you forget the matter but forgetting isn’t like dealing with it and it will keep haunting and taunting you.  When all is great in a relationship you overlook these things, or do you? If every while you think about it then something is wrong….. The heart knows.