Long Distance (Part 3): Oh sweet sacrifice

Long Distance (Part 3): Oh sweet sacrifice

To all my loyal readers, who read the previous two posts concerning the subject of long distance relationships; I bring you the epic conclusion regarding this matter.

I am not going to say this is the last part or the end, because it has such a negative connotation, we still need time as this new experience just started. However, I can say that after a rocky start, stability has been reached and that is why this moment has been chosen to publish the last part (last part for now at least).

       First I will share my ideas about making the distance closer:

Indeed we have to be thankful for the new technology at hand, no need to wait weeks for a letter by postal service or lonesome expensive phone calls every couple of weeks. Now we can all be connected on a daily basis, every second.

A smartphone is all you need, you can text for free over data coverage or Wi-Fi, using apps such as Whatsapp and free call using Viber or Kakao talk and even video call via Tango or Skype. So use it wisely, there are so many ways to stay in touch and feel them closer to you.

At night, set at least 2 days per week where it is about just the two of you, video call on Skype or Google hangout on your laptop, communicate, share your days, and maybe even watch a movie on screen share. Call this your dating night, and figure fun ways to stay close, like sharing the same dinner and talking as if out on a real date…

A fatal error would be to get caught in the new situation and forget to make time for each other’s, then you will slowly get over whelmed with work and social life, forgetting along the way that one person that matters the most. Do not let them fade away and become just a memory!

     Secondly, a relationship as a two party concept is like a scale, it has to be in perfect harmony and balance. Both parties have to make the effort, you may both want the relationship to work and flourish but when one has to make extra efforts to keep everything from falling apart. They will be afraid of failure, and in a constant state of fear that they still can do more or what they are sacrificing is not enough.

On the off chance that you are in neighboring countries or relatively close, try saving up money every month so that you may be able to visit each other’s every couple of months.

 If not, be tolerant of the new situation, and communicate as much as you can because the root of all problems is miscommunication and dishonesty, trully loneliness is hard but two loving hearts are never alone and cheating is never the answer, it will satisfy a momentary urge but will leave you an empty vessel and carrying a burden. Is it worth throwing years together for a simple weak moment? Fight and keep on fighting for the one you love.

Remember all those great love songs, you are still the one, viva forever, love story, died in your arms… they weren't written in vain.  

My honest opinion how I would feel in a long distance relationship?

I would be envious and jealous of the people that get to see you every day.

A thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got planes, trains and boats and if I had no other way I would walk to you.

       In the end, the truly scary questions to ask yourselves are two:

Can you pick up from where you left?

Will separation make your love stronger or weaker?

I for one am sure whatever happens, I can forgive and love because I know my future is you and after this cloud there is sun, there is a paradise waiting for the both of us to live together happily ever after.

True Self-Sacrifice of Love

By William Shakespeare (1564–1616)

NO longer mourn for me when I am dead Than you shall hear the surly, sullen bell Give notice to the world that I am fled From this vile world with vilest worms to dwell: Nay, if you read this line, remember not 5 The hand that writ it; for I love you so, That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot, If thinking on me then should make you woe. Oh! if, I say, you look upon this verse, When I perhaps compounded am with clay, 10 Do not so much as my poor name rehearse, But let your love even with my life decay; Lest the wise world should look into your moan, And mock you with me after I am gone.

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Long Distance (part 2): Living with a ghost

Long distance (part 2): Living with a ghost

         Now they are gone for good, you realize deep down that nothing will ever be the same.

The comfort, the warmth, the joys and sadness were all tied to that presence, to that single person whom you might have taken for granted but now came to acknowledge their huge impact on your life.

They have left, and all you have now is a ghost, you are living with a ghost inside your head.

At every corner, memories come to haunt you, there you used to go for dinner, here was your favorite sport… you got used to being constantly with them that unconsciously their road has become your road home.  You still pass by their house, then realize they are no longer living in the same country, indeed they are thousands of miles away for you.

You wish you could go into the room one more time, sit where they used to sit, feel their presence, let their scent tickle your face and nose, relive those precious moments.

How can time pass so quickly when you are together? The years pass like days; whereas when apart time seems to freeze as if to prolong your agony.

Emptiness, bitterness and sorrow, you try to make new memories and say we had Beirut and we still have a promising future…but when one is still living in the past in Beirut and when the other moved to a new country to the future: you grasp the harshness of the situation and its complexity. If one is living in the past and the other in the future, where is the present? No one is living the present, steps have been skipped and the equations are unbalanced now.

Love is not something taken, it is given. Although you considered yourself to be rational rather than emotional, you quickly come to realize how weak a human can be, in those dark hours before going to bed, when the loneliness takes over you cannot hold your tears anymore. The masks fall off and you are vulnerable, the only substantial hope is hoping to see their face one more time, after a month, 6 months or a year.

Will we be the same? Can we pick up the broken pieces and move on? Love is strong but when stretched over continents a rupture may occur.

You want to move forward and you know that in time you will get used to the situation but you cannot help yourself but linger on old pictures, every piece of clothes, every smell, every place you have been, all the memories. One thing is sure, you cannot forget even if you try.

      Finally, each partner copes differently with the new situation at hand, each at their own pace. The hardest part will be if one side of the scale tips over and one seem to be further ahead than the other.

You are not here physically anymore, you are in my heart in my every thought, and you are my memories.

You are the ghost that haunts me every night, the one that puts me to sleep and the one that wakes me up screaming for your name.

End of part 2

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How long can you go (part 1)

How long can you go? (Part 1)

Anybody who undertook a long distance relationship will tell it is not easy at all, even damn near impossible. So it is up to you whether to give it a chance or not to even fight for the relationship.

How and why it happens is not entirely under our control, it could be a job opportunity, a permanent relocation to another country or maybe meeting someone online form another continent.

Many circumstances can potentially lead us to consider a long distance relationship, my friend is travelling abroad, and that is why I am inspired by his loved one to write their story and to help them through this new experience.

There will be follow up posts, tips and facts about long distance relationships because it is a wide subject and in order to expose all the aspects and points of view more than one post is necessary.

How long can you go? Meaning how many miles can you be apart and for how long?

Needless to say that when either one of those elements increases; the stakes become higher and the long distance relationship turn into a hustle.

In the end, to finish my first post about this subject, I am going to highlight

"Missing someone gets easier every day because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will." 

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