Lost Soul

Lost soul

When you are at a turning point in your life, a crossroad where every decision can unleash a catatonic roll that may as well affect your entire future.

A lost soul is not a lost case, doesn’t have to be a dead man walking nor a criminal nor a psychological incident.

It is a crucial time, when you need your friends, family and if you have a lover; someone to give genuine advice, love you unconditionally and support you.

What road to take, what path to walk, whom to choose… a million questions running through your head.

Should you settle for the safest option, settle for the easy or take that risk and thrive for more, walk into the unknown.

Stay or go, option 1 or option 2 either way some good is bound to come at the end, it is just a matter of casualty along the way.

Depression is part of this infinite loop, nothing seems to be heading towards a bountiful end, you become lost, irritated and loose your spark.

You try to look for an exit in this world of fear; you’ve had enough you hope to find the path that leads away.

Time to stand up, enough wishing that the wind would carry change: you have to realize that you are the wind carrying change; you have had it inside you all along.

Looking through the window to a world of dreams, you can see your future slip away. You need a change but you won’t get there if you don’t believe.


If you’ve had enough of chasing luck, then set fire to the life that you knew and look for your ticket out before your chances start fading away in front of your eyes, with each step backwards take two onwards.

Finally when you are there at that finishing line you have set, if you look back you would see the flame that was in you, it just needed to ignite.

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Something gotta change

Something gotta change

Sitting alone in a bed, going for a midnight stroll alone or simply daydreaming; we find ourselves shifting our focus and thoughts towards what has been and what will be.

We seem to drift our attention from our present to contemplate an uncertain future or reminisce about our past. While the future is ever shifting and each decision will lead us on a different path, the past remains our nostalgic timeline where we might regret a certain decision. 

What happened to the present? I like many others, forget to live the current moment and dwell on past glory or promising future.

Sometimes you try to preoccupy yourself from the present as to overlook uncomfortable situations or avoid conflicts: you see people working hard whereas some hardly work. Some take undeserved credits, others waste their time at work.

When you used to matter for a friend, and all of sudden everything is more important than you. What was intended to be yours is no more, everything and everyone is replaceable. When they realize they can actually live without you and slowly drift away.

The sad truth is we frequently let ourselves live a hollow lie and be deceived because it is easier to let ourselves believe it than confronting someone, walking away or just leaving.

Nobody is daring admitting it to the other person, but change is coming and more accurately something need to change.  I want to be everything at once, unfortunately it is not possible and a specific part of your life will eventually take the upper hand.

We seem impervious to learning, when the same problems keep rotating and happening over and over; it is turned back to you. It’s your fault, it’s your move and it’s your choice.

Emotionally there for everybody, but when the time comes and it’s you who is in need few will answer your call and come to the rescue.  Why should they; if you set a pattern of you being a shoulder to cry on, a confidant and advisor every single time they need you. I guess it means you’re a super human and on the rare few occasions where you might be sad or angry nobody bothers asking.

It is flabbergasting how people can react differently with their surroundings: same time, same situation and problems only a different person to interact with. One person will be told all the sad part, the worries and anger whereas the second one will get the happy part and sunshine. What makes that person eligible to get ether part, shouldn't all your friends be treated equally? How come one gets consistently the negative while around other people it’s only rainbows?

Final thought before closing this chapter, if you delete it, it doesn't mean it is forgotten, whether it is a pic, a person, a situation you are trying to avoid… the physical fragment might be dissolved but the damage it has done is permanent, your life doesn't have a reset button. 

A wound can heal so many times, till it leaves a scar, a reminder that while it may have healed you will always carry a part of that trauma with you wherever you go.

          Finally, I am reminded of the immortal words of Mahatma Gandhi: be the change you wish to see in the world. Don’t expect others to change, quite the contrary be that change because you are incredible.

I recently stumbled upon this great but not so known song: Gravitonas-Incredible (Youtube) and I used to think that the phrase “you should know that you’re so incredible” meant someone else, but realized it actually can refer to yourself and not somebody else.

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Crossroads

            Let us consider our life as a road, our birth marks the beginning and the first step and our death will mark the end of the journey and the final resting place.

The way we decide to live our life is ours to choose: what turn to take, how fast to walk through it and where to go from every crossroad.

I understand it is customary to contemplate on the unfolded year on New Year and to decide your new resolutions. However, for me this month marks a special date and it has become a milestone and my reference.

Therefore, I decided to start the process earlier this year and not wait till New Year: when I look back on the year that passed, I am mostly grateful for everything that has happened.

Over all it was an eventful year, marking my return to my home country after a 2 years hiatus, continuing my Masters degree in France, meeting that special someone, getting a  great job opportunity and a new car to state a few.

Of course, I had my ups and downs, it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine but I made it through thanks to the great support of my friends and family.

Everybody can be proud of at least one thing he has done this previous year even the smallest accomplishment should be celebrated. Each can only do as much as they can, but never wait till it’s too late.

Every day is a new slate for you to make of it what you want. Breaks are rare in life, so when you recognize one, seize it immediately before it’s too late.  

Seasons change and so must do we , also we are reborn daily, therefore think about the potential.

When you’re at a crossroad, choose your path wisely but never regret it if you feel you failed, because a fall can be a blessing in disguise. Asking " the what if?" question will not help you because you cannot go back in time and redo it.

Finally, what you can do is accept your decision and try to make it work to your advantage.

All roads will lead to your destiny, some slower, some faster, some easier and some harder but you will get there !

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