Pandora's Box

     Here goes nothing, this post is a time bomb for I am not sure when it will tick and blow out. Too many things happened, the emotional drainage and the deception.

It was bound to compile in one ultimate shaker and blow up, this may well be my very last post. At least regarding relationship, I know in time I will heal hopefully but for now I find myself having set a timer on a time bomb.

Tick tock, with every second we get closer to the pinnacle with every breath you take you feel how the air has become heavier, it drops down to your heart like a bullet. What to say? What to do? Where to go from here?

This is the end, you hold your breath and count to ten? No, this is the end, you hold your breath and take that step that you knew has long been awaited, when you have counted to a million, ten more or ten less won’t make any difference.

They say, when you are in love, really madly in love you know when your lover is dead, when they are happy or sad. Indeed, except sadly, you would also know when it went wrong, when something that shouldn't have happened actually happened.

You are intertwined, whether you wanted or not, any shred of doubt, of passion of deception you can feel it miles away.

Yes, you can talk, yes you can be reassured, but once doubt creeps in your heart, once you stray from the path it can never be undone. Just like Pandora’s Box, once opened all the evils in the world were unleashed and still haunt us to this very day.

Any shred of doubt, is an imminent indicator of a storm brewing on the horizon, you may well be protected and sheltered but you can never fully escape it. You may run for a day, a week or a year but it is bound to catch up to you.

They say, all that remained in Pandora’s Box was hope, but what hope? The hope that you can pretend that nothing happened and move on with your life, lying to yourself and to the others?

You may mend it, but a broken heart is much like broken glass, you may glue it back together but you will always see the crack. That fragile heart, with every beat it risks shattering that glass again and again.

Who can you blame? Either yourself or the one person you trusted. Because in the end you reap what you sow, a grain sowed in harsh soil and in betrayal, a barren land will never grow up to be more than a fragile shrub.

My personal conviction was and will ever remain, temptation is a bitch the easiest way and common sense would dictate to refrain ourselves. But when you play with fire someone is bound to get burnt, not necessarily you but someone very close. You entered the fire in your domain so you bear the consequences, why not avoid it from the start?

Circumstances change, people change that is just the way life is.  Same people, different timing and the outcome would have been way diverse. You cannot blame them, loneliness and desperation are traitorous mistresses. You will find yourself doing things and in situation you wouldn't envy yourself or anybody.

If you would have looked at this day a year ago, would you have foreseen this? Probably not, the future is a blur line forever fluctuating with every decision we make.

     Yet you are here now, and since you have always been put in such “just deal with it “situations, you find yourself dealing with it, any way you can.

You miss the love you loved the most, it is heart breaking to have to go but when the time is right your ship has to sail. 

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Seasonal love

Seasonal Love 

Season change and people grow, grow apart, grow and mature or grow in love.

November changed my life forever, for it brought you into my life.

I grew to love you; you made me who I am today. I owe you my life, my success and all the joys of my life.

It was autumn that brought us together, oh sweet November. In the harshest and coldest night you burned my heart with the intensity of a thousand suns.

You have awakened a sleeping heart and brought it back to life; with every breath you take my hearts beats. One cannot live without the other. The day you’d stop breathing is the day my heart stops beating.

Then as we found each other on this earth, I am certain will find each others in the afterlife. If we were to be reincarnated our souls will yearn one for the other and no matter what great distances separate them they will unite together, embrace in the sweet dance of life and rekindle the fire of love.

Our souls imprinted on each other, you’re as part of me as my heart, my eyes and all my being.

Winter brought death, sorrow and loneliness. We grew apart, what was mine was ripped away from me. My heart only knew sorrow and sadness.  The hours passed as eons, the days passed as centuries but deep down I knew if you love someone you must set them free if they come back then they love you to.

I had faith in you, in us. Only when you let go you will realize how much you meant to me, how much I loved you. My eyes knew only tears, sleepless nights I spend dreaming of you and looking for that special moment when our eyes will connect, when I’ll feel your touch.

Oh how I wished you were here, to fall asleep in my arms, to keep me company in the lonesome nights.

Spring came and nature was reborn, flowers bloomed and so did our love. It bloomed strongly, the sweet scent embraced us, I felt safe, I felt right, and I felt happy…. I felt complete again. Finally, two people at the right time at the right place.

Finally summer is here, the new beginning that engaged us in a new path of life. One that will unite us till the end of time.

We had our shares of difficulties, sadness, but our love was strong and kept us bound.  I’m sorry if I ever hurt you, how can one hurt himself? But it happened.  I’m glad it happened; now I have an excuse to try and make it up to you for the rest of my life.

Every written word you read is just another tear I poured in your bleeding heart and the vast ocean that is our love. 

In the end all I can say, maybe every love song has been sang, every poem has been dedicated to a beloved and all words have been said. I guess it is true except they haven’t said your name, for you have inspired me and I’m certain you could inspire infinite love songs, just by being the caring person that you are. 

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How far would you go for a second chance?

It ended before it has even started

The heart wants what the hearts wants; all I know is I want you, no I need you.

How far would you go for a second chance?

       I wish you all the happiness from the bottom of my heart, but I don’t want “someone like you”  I just want you.

       I don’t have the right to hold you back, but seeing you, remembering you makes me blissful and warm. When I remember you I only see the good and happy memories, everything seems to fade away. 

      I messed up; it wasn’t much about you as it was about me figuring some things out. Timing, yes it’s all about the timing; I know from the deepest of my heart that if not today, one day we will be together.

     There is no such thing as just an encounter, coincidences happen for a reason in life: you entered my life like a ray of sunshine and awakened a frozen heart. 

     I had the most beautiful dream but a farfetched one for now; just want to kiss you, love you, hold your hand and wake up to see your face and smile in the morning next to me.

    Never was I a “relationship guy”, never did I want something serious but you changed that: I envision us living together, traveling and living abroad just the two of us, our little escape.

    There is a strong chemistry between us, the clash of the titans. Just our presence together, sends a jolt of electricity throughout my body. People change and grow, and I believe in second chances; when I see you I can’t help myself I lose control.

    In the end, it may all be a distant dream but even so I don’t want to wake up. However, I dare to dream because some dreams do come true. As they say:”aim for the moon, if you miss at least you will land among the stars” 

    Therefore, I don’t want to lose you, I want you a part of my life, as a friend or more. I gave you this knowledge and my feelings; now it’s up to you to say what you feel. I just want to shout out to the world:”I love you”; a word that I haven’t used that much but now I understand how it can change someone’s life.

    No regrets, I’m being completely honest with myself and you: I don’t want to look back and say you were the one that got away while I stood by emotionless and did nothing to prevent it.

I remain sure of one thing: our story hasn’t ended; there will be many more chapters to be written.

 But for now we live in the moment.

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Soul mate? so when's the date?

This post is a special request from my best friend; he recently underwent a hard breakup after a 3 years relationship. Harsh right? 

              When you get used to someone for that long a co dependence is inevitable, therefore when you go cold turkey at once you feel lost as if a limb has been cut off. I don’t believe there is only one soul mate, I mean let’s be realistic there are roughly 7 billion human on earth so the odds are against us. From purely a statistical point of view the chances of meeting your soul mate are right next to zero.

              However, I do consider that throughout your life time you will encounter suitable “soul mates”, they are rare,  so far for me I have met only 2, they’re the ones that when reflecting upon the past you say they were the ones that got away. 

             Not every relationship is tied to your soul mate; some relations are purely established upon physical attraction, common interests or materialistic needs… So when you do find the one you fuse together in order to become one body, the Supreme Being.

             As Plato described love: when we mortals first came to earth we were one body, combining both female and male parts. Therefore the gods were terrified of such a creature; it possessed immense strength and stamina. Zeus stroked the creature with a lightning bolt and cut it in half, thus man and woman became separate beings. Afterwards, they started this endless quest to reconnect in order to reform the Supreme Being.

             From the “let’s keep it “perspective, often both parties of the relation have done something wrong, because if it’s one sided then you are in an abusive relationship, so get the heck out. So in this case, when one decided that a break is needed, the other took it quite hard.

              From my perspective, this break was inevitable for they were at a crossroad and each chose a different path. One needed to mature, enjoy life and find herself: this a normal phase in life and I think we all should get some time alone to figure out what are ambitions and what we want in life.  The other, was comfortable in his relationship therefore he was in the same pattern and failed to notice that change was coming and failed to keep the pace. 

              Effective communication is the bases, as I’ve said it many times before. When you talk it over and over you want hit the wall at light speed. You will gradually know that you are drifting apart. Now that it happened there is no point in reminiscing on the past; of course nostalgia to the good all days is inevitable but second chances are given in life and you should give yourself that second chance if you believe he or she is worth it. 

         In the end my friend I can only say be honest with yourself, and hopefully she will be honest with herself; true love deserves sacrifice and if deep down in your heart you know that he or she is the one then you will do the impossible to get them back. And I can say you have done it, no regrets.

The way I see it your story has not yet ended, many chapters will be written and only time will tell what the outcome will be. Finally I say, keep them in your life because nobody knows how life’s turning, the future is ours to make.

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